Things I Did When My Nervous System Was Dysregulated

(Because apparently, calm is optional when you’re in survival mode.)

You know those moments when you’re totally not yourself? Your heart’s racing, your mind’s foggy, and suddenly, basic tasks and conversations feel like climbing Everest. Welcome to nervous system dysregulation. Let’s take a moment to reflect on some of the... interesting things we’ve all done when we’ve been in that state.

But first, what exactly is nervous system dysregulation?

When your nervous system is dysregulated, it means you're stuck in survival mode—fight, flight, or freeze. Instead of feeling calm and grounded, your body and mind are overreacting to stress. Your brain perceives even small challenges as big threats, and your ability to think clearly, connect with others, or stay present goes out the window. This state can be triggered by anything from emotional stress to past trauma, and it affects all of us at times—often without us realizing what's happening.

When we’re dysregulated, we don’t always recognize ourselves. Our bodies and minds are simply trying to cope, and often, we find ourselves doing things that don’t make a lot of sense in hindsight. But in the moment, they feel like the only way through.

Though I titled this post "Things I Did," you’ll likely recognize yourself in these experiences, too. Nervous system dysregulation has a way of showing up in similar patterns for all of us.

So, here are some things we tend to do when our nervous systems are running the show… things I’ve done while dysregulated— and honestly, you probably have too :)

1. Answer a text message in your head but never hit “send”

Because apparently, telepathy feels like an option when your nervous system is in overdrive. Ever been there? You think you’ve responded, but days go by, and you realize… oops. This is what happens when your mind is so busy trying to manage the overwhelm that even simple tasks slip right through the cracks.

2. Have a full-blown argument with yourself while folding laundry

Spoiler: the laundry gets sorted, but your feelings... not so much. It’s like having a conversation in your head that starts over something small and suddenly spirals into an emotional battle.

There’s something about repetitive tasks that seem to invite internal conflict, isn’t there? Instead of finding clarity, you end up more emotionally tangled.

3. Take everything personally—even and especially things that have nothing to do with you

Nervous system says: they’re judging you. Reality says: they probably didn’t even notice. But when you’re in fight-or-flight mode, everything feels like a personal attack. Our sensitivity is heightened, and we tend to interpret neutral events as personal diatribes. It’s like the world is a mirror reflecting our own fears back at us.

4. Pick a fight over something small and inconsequential because you’re already overwhelmed

When our nervous system is in overdrive, we sometimes start fights out of nowhere. A small annoyance suddenly feels like the last straw, and before we know it, we’re arguing over something that doesn’t really matter like a misplaced sock. Spoiler: it’s not about the sock. The real issue? It’s not the argument — it’s the dysregulation underneath.

5. Take three hours to pick a movie, then fall asleep in 10 minutes

Indecisiveness is one of the sneakiest signs of nervous system dysregulation. When we’re overwhelmed, even picking a movie feels like a monumental task. And by the time we’ve made a decision? Well, the exhaustion catches up, and we crash before the movie even begins. You think you need to 'relax,' but your body has other plans.

6. Pretend to enjoy “self-care” while silently panicking

Face masks and bubble baths are supposed to be soothing, right? But when your nervous system is dysregulated, even the calmest activities can feel like pressure to "fix" yourself. You’re trying to relax; meanwhile, your brain is busy playing the greatest hits of anxiety and overwhelm on repeat.

7. Say yes to things you don’t want to do and no to the things you do

People-pleasing becomes second nature when we’re dysregulated. Instead of honoring our own needs, we push ourselves to meet the expectations of others, fearing that saying "no" will somehow make us unworthy. Meanwhile, our true desires take a back seat, other people's priorities become more important than our own, and we’re left feeling depleted and resentful.

8. Scroll through social media for hours, hoping to feel connected but end up feeling more overwhelmed

You know the feeling: You go in for five minutes and emerge two hours later, more dysregulated than before. Social media can feel like a lifeline when we’re seeking connection, and for a brief while, every “like” feels like validation. But in the end, social media often amplifies feelings of disconnection and comparison, leaving us feeling even more anxious than before.

9. Try to meditate... and just end up planning your entire week instead

“Quieting the mind” sounds great, but when your nervous system is dysregulated, “quieting the mind” quickly turns into making grocery lists, analyzing past conversations, and wondering if you’ll ever find the love you’re looking for.

10. Avoid talking about your feelings because it seems easier

At the time, not talking about what I was feeling seemed like the safer option—keeping the peace instead of risking conflict or judgment. But here’s the thing: emotional avoidance might offer temporary relief, but it comes at the cost of true connection. When we push our feelings aside, we create emotional distance, not only from others but from ourselves, too. In the long run, it doesn’t keep us safe; it leaves us feeling more isolated and disconnected.

11. Pull away from people, even when you need them the most

In a dysregulated state, isolation feels safe. Even though connection might be what we crave deep down, pulling away from others feels like the only way to protect ourselves. But that disconnection? It only deepens the loneliness we’re already feeling, leaving us more isolated than before.

12. Buy something online that you don’t need or want... I've never done this either ;)

Retail therapy strikes again. Who hasn’t clicked "buy" on something when stressed, only to forget about it until it arrived a week later? The rush of buying something gives a temporary high, but it’s not long before we’re back to square one, realizing that no package can fill the emotional void we’re trying to cope with through shopping.

13. Cry over something small because it’s not really about that small thing

You know that moment when someone leaves the cap off the toothpaste, and suddenly you’re in tears? It’s never really about the toothpaste. It’s about all the built-up emotions we’ve been holding inside, like exhaustion, stress, and feeling unsupported. When in a dysregulated state, the smallest thing can become the catalyst for a flood of feelings that have nothing to do with it.

14. Feel abandoned by people who are simply busy with their own lives

A friend doesn’t text back right away, and suddenly your nervous system goes into abandonment mode, feeling the rejection of boyfriends or girlfriends past. In reality? They’re probably just at work, napping, or living their life. But in a dysregulated state, it’s easy to jump to conclusions and assume the worst: that we’ve been abandoned, forgotten, or left behind.

15. Make impulsive decisions, like redecorating your living room at 2 a.m. or contemplating a DIY haircut

When your nervous system is off-balance, impulsivity can feel like a quick fix. Suddenly, rearranging furniture or trimming your own bangs seems like the perfect solution. But once the scissors are in hand (or the couch is halfway across the room), you might realize… maybe this is only a temporary fix and not really the fresh start you were hoping for. In moments of dysregulation, we often try to regain a sense of control—but hey, at least hair grows back, right?

16. Over-explain yourself, worried people will take what you say the wrong way

When anxiety is high, so is the fear of being misunderstood. You’re convinced everything you say will be misinterpreted, so you just keep… talking. Conversations that should be simple become marathons of over-explaining, as if adding more words will somehow make the message clearer. In reality, all the extra explanations are just masking our fear of not being seen or heard.

17. Have a full-blown argument in your head with someone you love

I know that you too have played out arguments in your head that never even made it to real life. By the time you finally talk to the person, it turns out they didn’t even realize something was wrong. But when you’re dysregulated, you imagine worst-case scenarios, and it’s easy to create conflict where there was none. You’re not alone in this.

18. Can't ask for help, because you don’t want to feel like a burden

Even though you desperately need support, asking for it feels like admitting you're failing. There’s a fear of being seen as too much, so we hold back, struggling silently rather than admitting that we’re overwhelmed. We suffer in silence, when all we need is to reach out. In reality, you’re not a burden — you just need a little compassion and care.

19. Mindlessly eat your emotions, only to feel worse later

In moments of dysregulation, food can feel like comfort. I’ve definitely turned to snacks to soothe emotional distress, only to feel worse afterward. Spoiler (and I think you might already know this): it’s not about the food; it’s about the feelings. Emotional eating might offer a quick fix, but it doesn’t address the real feelings beneath the surface — and it often leaves us feeling disconnected from our bodies and our needs.

Why We Do This

Nervous system dysregulation is a part of being human. We all experience it in different ways, and it’s okay to admit that sometimes, we’re not at our best. The simple things—like sending a text or picking a movie—suddenly become overwhelming. We feel disconnected from ourselves and from others, and instead of resting, we turn to behaviors that temporarily distract us from the discomfort. These things I’ve done (and maybe you’ve done them too) are all signs that our bodies and minds are just trying to cope the best they can. It’s not about judgment — it’s about awareness, self-compassion, and finding ways to come back to a place of calm.

What Can Help

These moments—whether they involve silent arguments with laundry or scrolling endlessly on social media—are just signals. They’re our nervous system’s way of saying, I need attention. I need care. The good news is, we can find ways to bring ourselves back to calm. Through grounding exercises, intentional self-reflection, and honest conversations, we can slowly move back toward a regulated state.

In Heart Share Circles, we often talk about these very moments—the times when we’ve felt overwhelmed, disconnected, or lost in the fog of a dysregulated nervous system. Together, we practice ways to soften these patterns and reconnect with our hearts and true selves. If this resonates with you, come join us! You don’t have to navigate the overwhelm alone.