This Year, Choose Yourself— It's the Best Resolution You Can Make

This time of year tends to have a certain energy to it, doesn’t it? There’s renewal and excitement in the air, talk of resolutions, and that familiar pull we feel to start fresh and make a change for the better.

And I bet you, like me, have so many times felt the pressure to reinvent the wheel entirely—to change bad habits, fix what’s “wrong,” and finally become the version of yourself. And yet, you’ve probably ended up either exhausted or overwhelmed and… probably not all that changed, yeah?

So, this year, I have a different thought… Instead of chasing shiny new goals or drafting a long laundry list of ways to be “better,” let’s do something different. What if, this year, instead of striving to change yourself, you chose to know yourself? What if, instead of fixing yourself, you focused on nurturing yourself? What if, instead of adding more to your plate, you added less— and made space for you?

Even just as I write this, I am feeling a sense of relief and ease settle in.

And if the idea of choosing yourself resonates with you, I’d love to invite you to join me in my group program, Happy from the Inside Out— a rare opportunity to dive into these very themes in a small, intimate group setting. Click here to learn more and register.

Now, let’s take a closer look at what “choosing yourself” really means—and how to know when you are (or aren’t) doing it.

What Does Choosing Yourself Look Like?

Choosing yourself might sound like putting yourself at the forefront of everything and forgetting everyone else. But that’s not what it means at all.

Choosing yourself is about showing up for yourself in the ways you’ve always longed for others to show up for you. It’s about meeting your own needs with tenderness, so you’re not constantly looking outside of yourself to feel whole.

It’s not about ignoring others’ needs or going full-speed into selfishness—it’s about learning to prioritize your well-being in a way that lets you show up for yourself and the people you love.

Choosing yourself is about showing up for yourself in the ways you’ve always longed for others to show up for you. It’s about meeting your own needs with tenderness, so you’re not constantly looking outside of yourself to feel whole.

 

 

How Do You Know You’re Not Choosing Yourself?

So often, we don’t even realize we’re not choosing ourselves. It’s so easy to fall into patterns that feel familiar or “normal,” but deep down, they leave us feeling disconnected, depleted, or stuck. Here are a few signs to reflect on:

• You feel responsible for everyone else’s happiness, but neglect your own.
  You say “yes” to things you don’t want to do, often because you’re worried about letting someone down. You put others’ needs above your own, telling yourself you’ll take care of you later—but “later” never really comes :/
• You silence your emotions instead of honoring them.
  When challenging feelings arise—like sadness, anger, or maybe even joy—you push them away or distract yourself because they feel like “too much” and “not now”. You might feel like your emotions are inconvenient or burdensome, so you ignore them instead of listening to what they’re trying to tell you.
• You tend to seek external validation to feel worthy.
  You find yourself looking for praise, approval, or acknowledgment to feel good about yourself. Whether it’s through work achievements, relationships, or social media, you rely on external sources to validate your worth, and while the feeling may come for a little bit, it never ever lasts.
• You equate rest with guilt.
  You believe you have to earn rest or joy by being ‘productive’ enough first. Even when you’re exhausted, you push through, telling yourself there’s no time to slow down. But deep down, you’re running on E (empty).
• You feel like you’re ‘too much’ or ‘not enough.’
  You hear that critical inner voice that says you’re failing, falling short, or taking up too much space. Instead of offering yourself kindness, you pile on the judgment, believing that you need to be perfect to be worthy, accepted, or loved.

If any of these resonate with you, please know you’re not alone. These patterns often form because of what we’ve learned or experienced in the past—they’re not flaws, and they’re not your fault. Rather than being a reason to be hard on yourself, they’re gentle signals from your inner world, inviting you to shift, to tend to yourself, and to choose a different way forward…in fact, to choose you moving forward.

Here’s How You’ll Know You’re Choosing Yourself

Let’s now consider some ways you know that you are choosing yourself (hint: it’s not about perfection, it’s about practice):

• You honor your emotions, not just the easy ones.
  You let yourself feel what you feel, and you drop the judgment. Sadness, restlessness, or even anger—these aren’t signs of weakness. They’re signals that something inside needs your care and attention. (If this resonates with you, check out this top article from this past year for more on how embracing even the most uncomfortable emotions can open the door to healing).
• You make decisions from your true self, not your fearful or guarded self.
  Whether it’s saying “no” to an obligation or “yes” to an opportunity, you’ pause and check in with yourself first. Are you doing this because it aligns with your heart, or because you’re afraid of disappointing someone else, for example? (p.s. This post can be a great place to start. It’s about recognizing the patterns we carry from past hurts—and learning to live in alignment with who we truly are.)
• You prioritize rest and joy.
  Rest isn’t laziness, and it’s time we break that thinking in our minds. Instead, you recognize that you can’t pour from an empty cup—and that life is meant to be enjoyed, not just survived. (For the overachievers among us, this post might be a helpful reminder. It’s a call to rest as a radical act of self-love.)
• You practice speaking kindly to yourself.
  When that critical inner voice creeps in, you pause, notice and acknowledge it, and offer yourself compassion instead. Instead of beating yourself up, you remind yourself that growth is messy, and that you’re doing the best you can, always.
• You embrace your wholeness by holding space for all parts of you.
  You’re embracing not just the polished parts of you that everyone else likes, but the vulnerable, complicated, and “work-in-progress” parts too. Yessssss yessssss yessssss! 

This Year, What If You Chose You?

If the New Year didn’t have to be about fixing or changing yourself (because, hey, there’s really nothing wrong with you), imagine what it could be about.

What if it was about reconnecting with the parts of you that have been waiting to be seen, loved, and cared for? What if it was about creating a life that feels meaningful and joyful—not by adding more, but by finding the courage to let go?

If you’re reading this message and the idea of choosing yourself, reconnecting with parts of yourself that have been longing for love and attention and affection, and living from a place of love, not fear resonates with you, then you were meant to be reading this and I’d love to invite you to join my group program, Happy From the Inside Out. This is a once-a-year opportunity to work with me in a small, intimate group setting that’s designed to help you:

♡  Reconnect with yourself and heal the wounds that keep you stuck.
♡  Honor your emotions and needs without guilt or judgment.
♡  Build a life that feels meaningful and joyful—starting from within.

Click here to learn more and register.

Choosing yourself isn’t a one-time act—it’s a practice, a daily commitment to show up for yourself with love and care. And I’d love to support you in making this your year to do just that.

With so much love from my heart to yours,